When I feel stuck. It’s selfish. I want to be in the mindset of creativity and generosity
A Hammer not a unicorn we try to feel special because we think that will give our lives meaning and make us fulfilled in being different. THis is a misinterpretation of feelings. We want to be useful. When I see a hammer that’s old and has no scratches or dents, i know that’s an unfulfilled hammer. That hammer doesn’t see herself as very powerful or useful. A unicorn is beautiful and special and interesting, but what use does it have? We are most fulfilled when we’re exhausted from doing something awesome. We’re most fulfilled when we’re used fully and wrecked as an ugly tool. Appreciated, not ogeled .
Quit the sacrifice I want to continue the mindset of being generous and creative as many microseconds of my life as possible. To do this, we need to make it sustainable. If you think being self-sacrificing is sustainable, you’re a dummy. And being sacrificing isn’t generous. Generosity comes from having something, and then giving it. Gratitude is the key to having something in surplus and knowing what you have so you can give it. If you have a terrible life, why try to defend it?
Why Generosity is the solution when i’m nervous about getting on stage, it’s because i’m being selfish. I’m thinking about protecting myself from humiliation, harm and other suffering. The powerful mindset for me that has gotten me on stage since age 11 ( including in 15,000 seat amphitheaters ) is generosity “I can help these people” “Without me, these folks will be bored” etc. This is the same case with writer’s block, going on dates, job interviews, pitch meetings,
Why mindset and not a feeling Feelings are great. We’re human beings with awesome feelings — all of the feelings are gifts and they’re also out of our control. I believe a lot of our language around feelings is messed up. “Did that make you happy” “you hurt my feelings” “i’m feeling bad”… Our feelings are changing all the time. I can feel angry at the moment I get exactly what I want. I can feel happy when I hear a dear friend dies. Believing that these feelings are wrong or that I need to seek “positive feelings” has wasted a lot of time for me. You can’t buy happiness, but you also can’t therapy happiness, or marry happiness, or give birth to happiness. Happiness is a feeling that can pass in 15 seconds. Is that worth a life’s pursuit? We have much more control over our mindsets.
My pen breaks. I can have the mindset of “ I’ll never find another pen like this. This was my favorite pen. This will teach me to ever fall in love with anything. I broke it because I’m stupid. I could have done more pen maintenance, but I’m a lazy dick.” Or you can have the mindset “I’m free to get a new pen! Who knows how deeply I might love the next one? I love shopping. I am grateful that I got to use such an awesome pen for as long as i did. Some people never experience the relationship that my pen and I had.” I can be sad, mad, scared, joyful, peaceful, powerful with either of these mindsets. I could go through all of these feelings too. For me, the second mindset helps me move forward. It motivates me to move on to the next challenge with enthusiasm and energy.
I can choose that mindset, so why not choose that one?
Take action : journal and decide
write down how you feel now. Really feel it. Appreciate it, enjoy it. soak it in. Without trying to change the feeling, write down a mindset how you want it to be. Let the feeling linger as long as it wants. Believe the new mindset. Gain power and gusto from making a strong decision