We are all born with the innate ability to sleep, cry, poop, and eat. This has become a vehement truth to me in the past two months of having little baby Arlo at home.
SLEEP CRY POOP EAT. Although we don’t have contact with a lot of people due to quarantine, it’s very common to hear people define what kind of person he is. It is comforting to label someone so you can move on.
The longer we can justify someone’s label, the better for us.
I’m trying to hear all of the labels equally for what they are – nonsense based on an impression and a projection of what the speaker wants to be true. He is very “happy” “sleepy” “fussy” “content” “smart” “needy” “alert” etc. I don’t want to raise him thinking that he needs to represent, fight, or nurture any of these labels, so I’m trying to not believe any of them.
Talent is another fake label
One of the things about America’s Got Talent that’s rough for me is the idea that “Talent” is even a thing. I’m a world-class entertainer. My sleep, cry, poop, eat cycle wasn’t more entertaining than everyone else’s when I was born.
No witch cursed my family into showbiz.
I’m passionate and curious about entertaining people and I have been for a long time. That led me to spending a lot of time studying it and practicing it. That led to my “natural born ability.”
Cop Out
Besides the comfort of labeling someone else, “talent” or calling someone “a natural” lets me off the hook. “I’m going to work hard, but I’m just not as naturally good at something as someone else.”
It’s a verbal pat on the back, like the phrase “They’re just jealous of you.” Maybe they don’t envy you. Maybe they enjoy being mean to you because they think you deserve it.
Maybe it’s not that you’re lacking talent, maybe your ability is based on your choices.
Destruction
There are badasses in entertainment who stutter, who puke before going on stage, who hate crowds, who are dyslexic, who can’t read or write the music they perform, who can’t stand bright lights, who can’t hear the audience.
There are no-goods who have every seemingly helpful ability that suck.
You can guess what the badasses think about “talent” and what the no-goods think.
Moving forward
I encourage you to get rid of the idea that talent exists for anyone and get to work making the world better. You might lack certain skills, but the idea of skills is you can improve them.
As Arlo gets older, the gaps between sleeping, crying, pooping, and eating get bigger. I hope so! I want to give him every opportunity to choose what to do with those gaps instead of filling them with the label he’s assigned.
Privilege
In early civilizations, everyone had to get food and water. That was the only job. Everyone was an essential worker. As we became more abundant in food and water, we could create more careers. Now, it’s insane how ludicrous careers can be.
I was born with a huge set of opportunities just like I’m trying to give Arlo. I am a white, American, middle-class, tall, male, with a cool shaped nose. Because of all my resources, I had the opportunity to pursue something non-essential as a career.
I believe it’s harder for people without what I have but, it doesn’t eliminate the chances at all. I bring it up because I don’t want you to think I’m saying I’m only here because I worked hard.
I also don’t want you to think that “privilege” is a good cop-out replacement for “talent.” It’s most useful applied to myself by myself as a way to remember humility and empathize with those who don’t have it.