We are all born with the innate ability to sleep, cry, poop, and eat. This has become a vehement truth to me in the past two months of having little baby Arlo at home.

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Here is one of the stupidest factors in an act being bookable.

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The bold and the boring

The brand of an entertainment company or an individual is the way the public identifies that company. What is the core personality of the company?

If your brand is strong, most people will agree on the same brand description. If your brand is weak, each individual might have a very different feeling about who your company is. Your brand can be strong and out of your control – like someone caught in a scandal. It can be weak and in your control – like a soda nobody cares about.

Strong

It’s pretty simple theoretically. What good thing or things do you provide to your audience that your competition doesn’t?

It’s simple, but difficult to get right. That’s why people like me get so much money to help you with your brand. Here are some reasons it’s hard…

• It’s hard to self-analyze
• People don’t understand the terms “audience” or “competition”
• It’s rough to settle on a message
• People think a brand is a logo, or a color, or a name, or some other shit
• It’s hard to edit – nobody wants to be pigeonholed

Define Audience

Here, I’m using the word “audience” to mean the group of people who you care have an impression of your brand.

If you’re trying to talk to people to buy tickets for a show, your audience is the potential audience of your show. If you’re selling to a booker, your audience is the kind of bookers that would book you. If you’re trying to get your family to agree you have a good career, your audience is your family.

If you feel like your audience is “everybody!” you’re going to have a tough time. In fact, the smaller you can make your audience group the easier it is to make the perfect message just for them.

Define Competition

Your competition is the entertainers who are trying to get the same gigs as you, or have the same TV time slot as you or whatever. They are competing for buy-in from your audience. If they’re not going for your audience, they’re not your competition.

Message

Your brand is a message.. a story. If your brand is strong and well used, it’s in everything that you create. It’s reflected in your company name, your logo, the fonts you use, how you talk on the phone, the style of shirt you wear etc.

Machette to the point

1. Talk to your friend like they are your perfect client.
2. Describe to your dream customer exactly why they would be better off hiring you / buying your ticket / tuning in to your show.
3. Take notes or have your friend take notes of your points
4. You’ll most likely talk a lot of trash about your competition. Turn the negatives about them into positives about yourself.
5. Figure out which positives would have highest value to your dream customer.

This exercise will help you at least get a starting place for a brand.

Here’s a simple version of an entertainment pro bio. There are so many bad ones out there.

1. Spend a few minutes absorbing this style.
2. Spend an hour writing your own bio.
3. Send this blog and your bio draft to a friend to have them edit it.
4. If your friend sends it back, you’ll have something decent!

NOTE: People don’t care about your life story.

People care about things that help themselves. Your job is to turn your life story into a message of how you have value to others.

A Fake Bio

Marty Jacobson is a quirky folk musician with Polynesian roots. His tunes are staples of protest rallies in at least 17 countries with chart topping singles around the world. He constantly brings his messages of unity, love and the ludicrous nature of life to audiences through channels such a TED, NPR, Fox News, Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations. Marty has won the Endevor Award for “School Song” as well as several honorary doctorates.

Jacobson did not aim to be a political icon and he still doesn’t claim that moniker. In highschool, he took up accordian because he thought it was the funniest instrument and; soon was fascinated by the tone, volume, and impact he had when playing for friends. Creating enjoyable music became an obsession. Within 14 months, he had recorded his first album “Creek Town” which he distributed and began performing at Minneapolis area high school dances. He would release two more albums before graduating.

As he loved sharing music, he started seeing the impact of the messages in his songs. Entering into Berkeley School of Music on a full scholarship, he started work on what he calls his “First real album.”

The album “Recycled Cotton” featured broken piano, mixing bowls, washboards, and over 53 different “instruments.” It landed and connected him with what he really enjoyed — truely impactful music. The album sold 1 million copies and gave him the motivation to quit school and start touring the world.

As he was embraced by the activist community, he found great joy in releasing his most popular songs about topics such as hugging, affirmations, sharing, and being vulnerable.

Since “Recycled Cotton,” Marty has released 17 albums and 10 hit singles internationally. He is an anomoly in the music world as he has never had an agent, and answers his own phone. He currently lives in Calgary, Canada with his two wives and 45 cats.

The basics

1. What do you do?
2. What’s good about you?
3. What is your brand?
4. What else is good about you?
5. How does your story reinforce your brand?

Clippable

The main thing I want you to have in your bio is a section that can be easily cut and pasted. When someone recommends you or talks about who you are, they need that. That’s the most influencial use of your bio because word of mouth is so important. Also, don’t expect people to read the whole thing. They want to know what you do and why you’re good.

START there – first paragraph. The beginning of the bio shows the most value. If someone copy/pastes the first paragraph of a bio, we want it packed with the value offered. We want awesomeness to be clear.

Your brand is what’s special about you. Marty is weird and has social impact.

I suck

It’s okay to not have a resume like Marty’s. What have you achieved, though? If your mom’s talking about your career, what does she say first? You’ll add on to your resume as time goes on, but for now, put your best face forward. Your face will be ahead of all the people with bad bios!

Your best reps are working for free.

Let’s stop wasting time trying to sell ourselves

So many entertainers burn a lot of calories trying to make the perfect promo, or regretting not having the perfect promo materials.

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How to lose 1000 friends in 5 minutes

Entertainers like to bring volunteers out of the audience up on to stage, or talk to them in the audience. This is referred to as “victim work.”

Like vomiting in an elevator, it’s a powerful way to get bigger responses without even doing it right.

If you do it really wrong, it can go really wrong. If you do it a little bit wrong, you’re missing out on the potential of how great it can be.

Ethics

There are definitely moral choices involved in how you use someone on stage, but I’m not going to talk about that very much. Have morals, use them.

People being offended by what you do is a different situation. Audience members get offended by whatever they want because they want to be offended by it. There is no direct connection between morals, ethics, and offensiveness.

If you’re trying to make some show that is inclusive, then doing generically offensive things, probably won’t help you. The many reasons that your audience might not like what you do with a volunteer all factor in to making a good show.

They’re the avatar

The whole audience is watching this victim and putting themselves in their shoes. This is THE reason volunteer work is so effective for a master and the way you can lose your whole audience when you fuck it up. It’s like every person in the crowd gets a one-on-one experience on stage.

Here are seven ways to not lose your friends.

1. Need

A bit with a volunteer on stage for no reason is the worst. The volunteer must be crucial to the success of the act. Is your victim just standing there while you do a funny dance with the hope that they will look embarrassed? I’ve seen this kinda thing. It’s worthless.

2. Fun

The show is fun (whatever that means to you) and is a game of challenge, surprise, and reward. The volunteer’s experience must be this same thing perfectly executed. So,

1. The victim tasks need to be clearly laid out. CLEAR DIRECTION FOR EVERY MOMENT!
2. The goals need to be attainable.
3. The reward needs to be worth it.
4. The challenges the victim faces must be doable, but not infantile.

3. Heroism

This person is a hero. This is your way to celebrate the whole audience. By positioning this volunteer above yourself, you put everyone in the room on a pedestal. Feels good.

I tell Becky to reach in a bag, pull out an orange. She does it. I say, “Fuckin’ Becky! She just killed it! Amazing orange pulling!” I just told the audience “you guys don’t have to do much and when you do it, when you show me you’re on my side, I will celebrate you. You’re in a place of love, encouragement, and success. Let’s see where we can go together!”

4. Reaction

People will be watching the victim’s emotional reaction. When we watch a movie, we depend on the reaction shot to understand a conversation. You gotta find ways to get positive reactions from your volunteer, or things will not go well.

5. Comfort

I’m not a fan of comfort in entertainment, so I’m not going to encourage you make you volunteer comfy, but I will tell you the audience will feel the discomfort immediately. You don’t need to do anything to make them more uncomfortable to get a laugh. The tension is already there. A demeaning joke or embarrassing costume is not necessary.

Can you relieve the tension with a rewarding act? Something that really pays off? This is the whole point in the first place. Make something good.

6. Humanity

The humanity of the victim is why we’re doing this. If you treat them like a prop, you’ve lost all. You just irked the audience and threw away a potent power. Look them in the eye, remember their name, give them something to do that only a human can do. React genuinely to what they do and say. Listen.

7. Celebration

Give the rest of the audience a chance to celebrate the victim, and they’re celebrating themselves. This is you giving away a valuable thing that you have ( fame ) to this person who has helped you. We’re all waiting for chances to give that volunteer love, specify those moments and it’s edifying for us too.

We’re all in this business to make people happy, right? Not me! I want to make them sheep

Happiness as a goal is pretty crappy. Happiness is an emotion. As my therapist told me, “Emotions come and go in 15 seconds, please pay with cash.”

Let’s get deep in this one!

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I’ve been writing a bunch about entertainment and noticing how irked I am by so many things in this field that I chose. I’m seeing there’s a reason.

I don’t pursue what I love.

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It sounds really cool to say “I’ll never quit…” unless… wait… no. It sounds stupid.

If I’m eating a meal that tastes terrible, do I need to finish it? If I start a war that is clearly not solving any of the problems I hoped, do I keep fighting until I have nothing? If I have a show business that doesn’t work, do I just get more tshirts printed?

Entertainers need to be better at quitting than anyone. If it’s not working, not only is the floundering public, but it’s floundering because the public doesn’t want it.

The Hair

I had this bit in my show for ten years where I sprayed cooking oil in my hair. It was funny and perfect for that moment to destabilize the audience and establish my commitment to the bit. That oil would get on the ceiling of rental cars, on my hoodie, on my hands and even drip in my eyes on multi-show days. Ten years. If I didn’t wash it out, it would get on my pillow, then on my face, then on everything. 10 YEARS

It was worth it, until I was running low on oil one day and I tried just mentioning doing it. Same audience reaction basically. That spritz was cut that day from my show.

Sunk Cost

Moral superiority is not the only thing that keeps us in a sitch that stinks. The sunk cost fallacy is basically “I spent a lot of money on this hat that makes my face bleed, I’m going to wear it all day!” We’re allowed to quit. We’re allowed to throw away expensive things.

Sunk cost applies to money but also; time, reputation, energy, love (transactional love anyhow), and anything else that we feel we spend on stuff.

Loss Aversion

If we have put a ton into something, we won’t want to lose it. Loss aversion is a major motivator. People don’t want to lose what they have more than they want to gain something.

Because of the loss aversion bias, we’re more likely to buy into a double or nothing deal because it feels like we can prevent loss.

Allow yourself to quit today

What’s not working? What, going forward, is going to cost us more than it’s worth? A joke, a routine, a segment, a show, a gig, a career? Quit it all! At least we can be open to the idea that we can quit right now. Imagine it. Feel the relief.

Then, we make a decision based on this head space instead of trying to make big life decisions based on the fear of losing it all.

Use your flawed thinking for your benefit

Don’t try to fight the sunk cost fallacy, nor your loss aversion bias. They’re too strong. Here are two easy exercises.

1. SUNK COST: Think of the things you’ve spent as gone. Looking at your work experience as business capital is not the same as holding on to your past. The money you invested in your tiger cages belongs to someone else now. Those cages aren’t worth what you paid for them unless they’re serving you at that value now.
2. LOSS AVERSION: Think of your future as something you possess now. If your future is important to you, the time you spend tomorrow is something you own. You don’t want to lose that time by committing to something that’s not serving you.

Don’t buy a ring light thinking that it’s a magic pill. It’s more likely just a pill.

I used to be a fan of ring lights and think they were an awesome solution to solve all shooting issues. I even built my own when they were hard to get. The three main things I want to solve with video / photo of a person’s face are attractive skin, eye reflection, and distinction from background. Ring lights solve all these things in ONE SPECIFIC SITUATION.

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Instead of going through the science of how it all works, I’ll give you the basic protocol for one way to correctly make a marketing email so you can start now. You can of course ignore any of these tips, but realize there’s success behind every part, so please recognize you will be sacrificing with every such choice.

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We had 1500 happy audience members tune in to our single live stream this month. Here are my thoughts on doing it right.

I am the guy that sits and watches an open mic night sober, then takes a walk for an hour thinking about every single performer and what they could do better or worse. I remember watching The Cosby Show with my family and trying to not laugh because I thought being funny was about not laughing. At age 11, I decided to wear fragrance-free soap because I thought it would distract from the magic tricks I was doing at a Boy Scout banquet. I am ridiculously analytical of entertainment.

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