We want to think bigger like other people do. It feels dangerous. There’s a reason that trying to do gigs for 2x as much feels like life or death. There’s a reason that imagining buying a big house with art makes us eat a whole pizza.

It’s a matter of life and death.

We’re tribal. We live in tribes and we die when we leave them. Living in a tribe in a village, if we’re kicked out of the village, if the tribe rejects us, we are dead. We can’t defend ourselves, we can’t find food or water. We die. Rejection kills us. This is built in to who we are. So, when my tribe (the people i surround myself with) tells me that I’m not allowed to live in a trailer park, and I’m also not allowed to live in a 5 bedroom house with a pool, I listen. I know that they’re right. It’s an unquestioned ruling that is built into my nervous system. It’s just as important as looking out for tigers.

Jim Rohn once said, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” This makes it sound like a delightful little tidbit to make our lives a little better and it’s a good thing to remember. The truth of why it feels so important and impossible sometimes to swing for the fences, is that we are gonna die.

The people that care about us also want to keep us safe. They want to keep us in the tribe and want everyone in the tribe to accept us. That means caring advice is often bad advice – it’s based on preservation in an artifical dangerzone rather than growth and thriving.

By having big ambitions, it’s worth it to do big stuff.

Rebel

One thing we can do is risk death by denying the tribal margin of acceptance. We can rebel against what our loved ones tell us. This sucks because it makes us feel in danger the entire time we’re doing it

Move

We can change tribes. This is painful if done all at once. Say goodbye to everyone close and move on. This is a thing that addicts in recovery or reformed criminals can do especially when actual life and death is on the line.

Lens Change

We can have conversations with people who are most influential to us. We can find out if our boyfriend really wants us to get a day job, or if that’s a misinterpretation. We can find out if our aunt really believes that art is a waste. Even though our tribe can be limiting, sometimes it’s helpful to see what the real limits are so we can expand within them.

Take action : get out

Send a text message right now to someone that’s inspirational to you. Someone who might feel like they’re too good for you. Someone who you think has a good quality that could rub off. We don’t have to cancel our entire tribe. We can just take a loaf of bread to another one.

In this popular post i wrote, I talked about some devices i use to show value on a single page website. It’s the same stuff i use for all promo materials. It can be costly to get all the content together. The costly parts are the branding and the organization of the educational materials. I call those educational materials OPOV.

Here’s the sheet so you can organize your sheet. Holy sheet!

https://scot.fun/zNNa

We want to express ourselves clearly, truthfully, authentically. We want our art to feel as natural as our heroes’ arts. We want to flow our true hearts out to other hearts.

As with most things, it doesn’t look the same from the outside as it is on the inside and truth is not the same as “just being honest”

The inner workings are complicated

While Taraji P. Henson is a true badass and a bold personality who can be intimidating on screen, my interaction with her was sweet and almost timid. She spent time in a dark corner rehearsing her lines with a coach and smiling at kind people on set. She was in charge of a whole production based around her personality. The work she did for the world was very different from what the audience sees.

If she were to show up being the give-no-fucks character she portrays on TV sometimes, the result would be very different and, I’m betting, would betray the truth of who she is.

Truth tellers are lying

When someone calls themself a truth teller, the words they say might stand up to fact checking, but the resulting perceived message is usually way off. I could describe a dog as “an animal who’s most important feature is it’s nose. It is more than 10k times more sensitive than a human’s.” the listener might picture an aardvark and would have a very different impression than how a normal person in the know would picture a dog – cute, domesticated, mammal, smart, friendly.

It’s important for our mental health

It’s important for us as creatives to remember that this stuff is weird and we’re doing it right when authenticity feels artificial. Just being publicly seen and being vulnerable to so many is unnatural. We need to employ unnatural methods to do it right.

Take Action: : Get perspective

Journal write down an admired artist. Imagine one real day in their life. when they wake up, how they eat, what their actual work looks like. Are they spending all their time letting their imagine turn to craft, or are they bumming around and trying to find a pigment? Waiting for the piano tuner to show up and trimming their own hair? Being pissed off about some other artist? Trying to figure out why noone is buying from them?

When I feel stuck. It’s selfish. I want to be in the mindset of creativity and generosity

A Hammer not a unicorn we try to feel special because we think that will give our lives meaning and make us fulfilled in being different.  THis is a misinterpretation of feelings.  We want to be useful.  When I see a hammer that’s old and has no scratches or dents, i know that’s an unfulfilled hammer.  That hammer doesn’t see herself as very powerful or useful.  A unicorn is beautiful and special and interesting, but what use does it have? We are most fulfilled when we’re exhausted from doing something awesome. We’re most fulfilled when we’re used fully and wrecked as an ugly tool. Appreciated, not ogeled .

Quit the sacrifice  I want to continue the mindset of being generous and creative as many microseconds of my life as possible.  To do this, we need to make it sustainable.  If you think being self-sacrificing is sustainable, you’re a dummy.  And being sacrificing isn’t generous.  Generosity comes from having something, and then giving it.  Gratitude is the key to having something in surplus and knowing what you have so you can give it. If you have a terrible life, why try to defend it?

Why Generosity is the solution when i’m nervous about getting on stage, it’s because i’m being selfish. I’m thinking about protecting myself from humiliation, harm and other suffering. The powerful mindset for me that has gotten me on stage since age 11 ( including in 15,000 seat amphitheaters ) is generosity “I can help these people” “Without me, these folks will be bored” etc. This is the same case with writer’s block, going on dates, job interviews, pitch meetings, 

Why mindset and not a feeling Feelings are great. We’re human beings with awesome feelings — all of the feelings are gifts and they’re also out of our control. I believe a lot of our language around feelings is messed up.  “Did that make you happy” “you hurt my feelings” “i’m feeling bad”… Our feelings are changing all the time. I can feel angry at the moment I get exactly what I want. I can feel happy when I hear a dear friend dies. Believing that these feelings are wrong or that I need to seek “positive feelings” has wasted a lot of time for me.  You can’t buy happiness, but you also can’t therapy happiness, or marry happiness, or give birth to happiness. Happiness is a feeling that can pass in 15 seconds. Is that worth a life’s pursuit?  We have much more control over our mindsets. 

My pen breaks. I can have the mindset of “ I’ll never find another pen like this. This was my favorite pen. This will teach me to ever fall in love with anything. I broke it because I’m stupid.  I could have done more pen maintenance, but I’m a lazy dick.”  Or you can have the mindset “I’m free to get a new pen! Who knows how deeply I might love the next one? I love shopping. I am grateful that I got to use such an awesome pen for as long as i did. Some people never experience the relationship that my pen and I had.”  I can be sad, mad, scared, joyful, peaceful, powerful with either of these mindsets. I could go through all of these feelings too.  For me, the second mindset helps me move forward. It motivates me to move on to the next challenge with enthusiasm and energy.

I can choose that mindset, so why not choose that one?

Take action : journal and decide

write down how you feel now. Really feel it. Appreciate it, enjoy it. soak it in. Without trying to change the feeling, write down a mindset how you want it to be. Let the feeling linger as long as it wants. Believe the new mindset. Gain power and gusto from making a strong decision

There are days where it seems there’s no end in sight. Days when I feel that I’m trying to walk ahead on perfect ice. Days when I feel that nothing’s really worth it. Days when it’s boring, or stressful beyond what i want.

This is when I try to give myself a pat on the back. Grab a treat. Take a 30 min vacation.

When I am feeling good about my stuff, I also want this reward. Consistency is what I’m aiming for. I want my people to feel that I’ll always show up for them. I’m not here for a trophy. I’m here to create regularly.

I deserve an “atta boy!” every time i try.

If i win an award or public accolade, I try to remind myself there were a lot of days involved in that. Surprisingly, this doesn’t damper the satisfaction.

Celebrating the work means solidness

• I build my confidence
• I focus on the right stuff
• I have a more comforting and dependable life experience
• I want to work more
• I have a salve for painful moments
• I get self-love
• I can ignore the noise of perceived glory

I really needed to hear this today. I forgot it.

Take action : cheer!

1. physically pat yourself on the back
2. Think of something you did today that you liked – even if it’s small
3. imagine a little graduation party for yourself
4. get back to work

Sometimes a little fantasy comes up for me that I run a taco stand. I quit everything else, and just absolutely kill it running an amazing taco stand in my neighborhood. If I could offer low priced tacos in a clean place that are delicious, I could have non-stop business. It would be so simple and straightforward. I would have a five item menu and everyone would love it.

This fantasy comes from feeling overwhelmed in showbiz

Seeing my business from the inside, my business is really complicated. I’m managing…

• daily work
• relationships – professional and personal
• my past
• my future
• my energy
• my time
• my money
• organizing stuff
• automation / outsourcing
• passion
• resting

When I chill with the fantasizing and pull back, I remember that a taco stand would still have all of these things. I realize that things feel complicated on the inside and simple when looking at a business from the outside. So, it’s helpful for me to look at and get help looking at my business from the outside. I am a taco stand.

A taco stand is simple

When I quit all the awesome I’m doing and set up my taco stand, here’s all that I’ll have to deal with…

1. Making a delicious taco (value creation)
2. Setting up my stand and service (value delivery)
3. Make people want to buy and buy more (sales)
4. Put up signage and get yelp reviews (marketing)
5. Make sure I’m making enough money to sustain & grow (finance)

This is the simple template of every business. If I’m not seeing my business in this way, I’m not seeing my business clearly. I’m going to get overwhelmed.

Take action : Get well rounded like a tortilla

rate each of the 5 things listed above for your business on a scale of one to ten. What’s the weakness?

Many people that hate Zoom meetings, truly enjoy having them with me. I enjoy them very much too. I think a big part of that is my camera quality and my ability to look directly into their eyes.

I’m using a Sony ZV1 as a webcame with a teleprompter ( a mirror setup so that I can look thru the screen into the camera. Their face is centered on the screen and I’m looking directly at them so that they get eye contact and I get to watch their expression. This makes communication so much more full.

Set up details and equipment

i did a lot of experimenting to get here.

Set your zv1 to aperture priority. You want the aperture as open as possible to get maximum background blur 

My auto focus is on continuous

I have a 

• FeelWorld 10.1″ 4K HDMI Field Monitor on my teleprompter. There are all kinds of cheaper monitors now and iPads and stuff. here’s a less expensive one… https://a.co/d/53CbLIN … the teleprompter’s max width it can be 10.75″ it must be able to reverse an image so that it will work with the teleprompter to display correctly
• Glide Gear TMP100 https://a.co/d/1ICAsH7
• I’m using a dummy battery. I think the ZV1 can connect and be powered by USB instead https://a.co/d/egRgpsQ
• Because of my dummy battery, I’m keeping the battery door open, so I need a cage on the bottom of it https://a.co/d/eHWUxIA
• I use a really simple cold shoe to mount my camera becuase the zv 1 is so light. https://bit.ly/3RaaYnm
• To mount the teleprompter to the arm on my desktop, I have a tripod head so that I can easily manipulate the camera angle https://bit.ly/47pKLXy
• Since I’m using HDMI, I have a micro to normal HDMI cable
• I am using an El Gato camlink Video capture  card https://a.co/d/jcTgERn I tried the generic and it crunches the colors
• Another helpful tip: i use https://scot.fun/zNNV a mac app called “big clock” that helps me see the time quickly during a zoom call without having to look away from my co-talker

Since you have the usb powering your camera, you could probably go USB straight in to your computer and that would power it and send the video signal in without HDMI. I haven’t tested this. I hear the video quality is better thru HDMI

The cold shoe is under my camera ; screwed in to the bottom of it. Looks like this… That gives the camera more height and gives me a quick release that’s easy to use on my various tripods and stuff when I travel with the camera.

Oh, also the cardboard you see here is a little adapter I made using a jar of nuts, a piece of cardboard, some tape and black paint. I can make you one if you’d like. Usually the teleprompter cloth fits around the camera lens, but since the zv1 has no lens body, I needed something for it to wrap around. My adapter just sits up against the front of the camera with no attachments – very buddhist. There’s this drawstring bag thing that closes the teleprompter around a normal lens body. The zv1 lens doesn’t stick out much, so it can’t attach to it. Instead, I attach the bag to my adapter thing and then set the adapter against the front of the camera.

I keep the viewfinder window folded out to help reduce heat. Before my studio was air conditioned, i added a fan that would blow on the camera to keep it from overheating.

I had a client that came to me for a very small role in their staff party entertainment. They have access to a bunch of performers, so I felt that all I could do is try to offer them the lowest price possible. I like them and wanted to be genuinely helpful.

I talked to the point person feeling like I was not very useful and probably not very valuable and probably would have to charge too much for them to hire me. A few minutes in to the conversation, I started to envision what the gig would actually be. As i dug in more to how they were planning it, what the experience for the audience would be, etc…

1. my imposter syndrome disappeared
2. my understanding of what i could do for them went up
3. my irreplaceablitly went thru the roof
4. the amount of money i quoted them was multiplied by 12
5. they got something insanely awesome and it dug them out of a hole they didn’t even know they were in

This imagining process takes time, it takes energy, and it gets stronger with experience. My best advice for quick pricing is to imagine the gig and give a price based on that. This is what I mean. We wanna listen and really hear what’s being set up so that we can do our best. We can imagine together with our potential customers so that they get something amazing and are excited to pay for it.

Once we listen, we can often see how much we know that the prospect doesn’t know. They have a very differnt experience in life than we do.

Take Action:

Think about one gig from your past that was not fulfilling. Write down three questions that you could have asked to help you imagine the gig beforehand.

If you have a gig on the line right now, what’s a smart question you could ask right now of that potential client that would help you understand their situation?

We get scared.

We try to show our “good side.”

Other people can provide our “good side”

Since other people can do it, it’s not scarce.

When we do our best work, we’re using our full selves. Using our history of creating art, all our therapy, our relationship with our neighbor, broken fingernail. That’s the fun work and that’s the valuable work. It’s hard for me to believe every time. Just like it’s hard to believe that something’s healthy and tastes good.

When l am hiring people, I’m looking for people that show up fully – people that are willing to give it all. Task people aren’t worth much. Human individuals are worth a lot. Each one is 1 of a kind. There’s no competition.

Take Action : Train your attention

journal one of your favorite moments of creation. write down a list of parts of yourself that went into it.

My wife, Laura, had high blood pressure during pregnancy. It was a concern of the doctors, so it was a concern of ours. It stressed us out. The bad news is, the more she stressed out, the higher her blood pressure goes. So, she’s told to relax, add on the stress of not being able to relax and it’s a pile.

Many artists are held back by the no-can-do. Charisma is important for every human. We all experience it in ourselves at some point. My normal shortcut for a no-can-do perspective — one where an artist says “i’m not good at that” — is to tell them “duck it!”

You don’t need to be charismatic to make people feel your charisma just like you don’t need to be “good at business” to have a great business.

Charisma looks like confidence. It’s not really confidence. You don’t need confidence.

The charisma trap is the same as the blood pressure trap. Charisma signals are actually the result of letting it all hang out. That looks like confidence. When we think of wanting to be charming, and we don’t feel charming, we tighten up. We share less of ourselves. Then, it compounds.

To build the skill, study and practice

We can study ourselves in different situations — especially with our best friends and family to experience what it feels like to show up as our full selves. We can take classes in charm. We can read books about it. It’s a skill that’s possible to build. Gonna take a long time.

Take Action : Let’s cheat

body dynamics are contagious. Let’s use that.

1. Stop focusing on the charisma.
2. This is not something to get right.
3. Watch someone you feel is captivating
4. Watch one of their body parts (not their face)
5. Get in front of a mirror and move that body part in the same way
6. That’s it. When you need a boost of charisma, focus on your left elbow, or whatever and have fun with it. play the left elbow game.

We think we revere the starving artist, when really we revere the surviving artist.

We gotta sustain to make art. We can make more art by living 80 years than we can living 27 years.

Let’s make money. Let’s take care of our healths. Let’s keep consistent.

I’m doing stuff that’s good for the world. I am extremely privileged. I feel that it’s my responsibility to the world to…

THRIVE

The day-to-day of a prolific artist is majorly about sustaining. Touring performers are trying to avoid sickness. Painters are maintaining equipmehtnt and studio. Chefs are cleaning. When we’re doing this stuff, we’re doing it right.

Take action : Get help

If your thingy was fixable DIY, you probably woulda already done it.

1. Think of the aspect of your career / life that will, if improved, will help you thrive for a long time
2. Think of the person who can help you with that
3. Ask them to help you

We want to find that one thing. We can only do one thing at a time.

“Procrastination” & distraction comes in when we have…

• a million things we want to do
• a fear of boredom with our most important pursuit
• small goals / dreams / hopes
• a loss of confidence

The big thing that can fix this is have a big mission that’s from our hearts. I put procrastination in quotes because I don’t believe in it. We’re always working on something… it’s a matter of choosing what to work on and being aware of how we’re spending our time.

If the focus is on being comfortable right now, we will not move on anything big.

If the focus is on saving a teenager a year from suicide, we may not want to doom scroll right now.

Take action : think big

If you’re feeling daunted by life right now, or there’s something that’s really stuck for you. Make the reward of your work something bigger and singularly focussed. Make it bigger and bigger until it magnetically pulls you toward it. It becomes more effort to resist it than to do it.