My wife, Laura, had high blood pressure during pregnancy. It was a concern of the doctors, so it was a concern of ours. It stressed us out. The bad news is, the more she stressed out, the higher her blood pressure goes. So, she’s told to relax, add on the stress of not being able to relax and it’s a pile.

Many artists are held back by the no-can-do. Charisma is important for every human. We all experience it in ourselves at some point. My normal shortcut for a no-can-do perspective — one where an artist says “i’m not good at that” — is to tell them “duck it!”

You don’t need to be charismatic to make people feel your charisma just like you don’t need to be “good at business” to have a great business.

Charisma looks like confidence. It’s not really confidence. You don’t need confidence.

The charisma trap is the same as the blood pressure trap. Charisma signals are actually the result of letting it all hang out. That looks like confidence. When we think of wanting to be charming, and we don’t feel charming, we tighten up. We share less of ourselves. Then, it compounds.

To build the skill, study and practice

We can study ourselves in different situations — especially with our best friends and family to experience what it feels like to show up as our full selves. We can take classes in charm. We can read books about it. It’s a skill that’s possible to build. Gonna take a long time.

Take Action : Let’s cheat

body dynamics are contagious. Let’s use that.

1. Stop focusing on the charisma.
2. This is not something to get right.
3. Watch someone you feel is captivating
4. Watch one of their body parts (not their face)
5. Get in front of a mirror and move that body part in the same way
6. That’s it. When you need a boost of charisma, focus on your left elbow, or whatever and have fun with it. play the left elbow game.

We think we revere the starving artist, when really we revere the surviving artist.

We gotta sustain to make art. We can make more art by living 80 years than we can living 27 years.

Let’s make money. Let’s take care of our healths. Let’s keep consistent.

I’m doing stuff that’s good for the world. I am extremely privileged. I feel that it’s my responsibility to the world to…

THRIVE

The day-to-day of a prolific artist is majorly about sustaining. Touring performers are trying to avoid sickness. Painters are maintaining equipmehtnt and studio. Chefs are cleaning. When we’re doing this stuff, we’re doing it right.

Take action : Get help

If your thingy was fixable DIY, you probably woulda already done it.

1. Think of the aspect of your career / life that will, if improved, will help you thrive for a long time
2. Think of the person who can help you with that
3. Ask them to help you

We want to find that one thing. We can only do one thing at a time.

“Procrastination” & distraction comes in when we have…

• a million things we want to do
• a fear of boredom with our most important pursuit
• small goals / dreams / hopes
• a loss of confidence

The big thing that can fix this is have a big mission that’s from our hearts. I put procrastination in quotes because I don’t believe in it. We’re always working on something… it’s a matter of choosing what to work on and being aware of how we’re spending our time.

If the focus is on being comfortable right now, we will not move on anything big.

If the focus is on saving a teenager a year from suicide, we may not want to doom scroll right now.

Take action : think big

If you’re feeling daunted by life right now, or there’s something that’s really stuck for you. Make the reward of your work something bigger and singularly focussed. Make it bigger and bigger until it magnetically pulls you toward it. It becomes more effort to resist it than to do it.

I performed at a staff party for Space X. 10,000 employees. Incredible, grand, and high budget. It was held in a sports stadium. Two band stages. A DJ stage. Carnival games. Huge.

Elon Musk, the richest man in the world, made a huge party and helps give all these people employment.

He makes things not for everyone. Every company makes things not for everyone. When we say to ourselves my art is for everyone, we’re shooting ourselves in the foot. Elon’s branding power and one of his superpowers is actually passively rejecting customers.

The cybertruck is ugly. I don’t think it hauls stuff like a truck does. The logo is nearly illegible. Perfect. If you don’t get it, that’s great!

It’s made for two people

It’s made for the person that “gets it.” They want to be part of the fame, the status, the money, the intrepid movement.

It’s made for the person that’s emotional about it. The person who is angered about it is going to tweet about it. The reporters that is baffled is going to write long articles. The creeped out dude that see it on the road is going to talk to their friends about it.

Say no to customers

By saying no to people, he has other people saying “fuck yes!”

Walmart has the best graphic designers in the world, many people would think Walmart is for everyone. Their graphic design doesn’t have the same beautiful feel that Mercedes Benz does. Walmart is saying no to people that want a luxury experience. They’re even saying no to people who want a Target experience.

Take action

Think of one customer you would not want to work with again.

We misremember

I asked my friend why he wanted to dress so crazy and bring such a planned persona to the stage. He said he wanted to show up like a rock star. I was confused. “In what way?” “What’s a rockstar?” to him a rockstar is someone polished, full of ego, flashy, fearless, an icon of perfection in the realm of boldness.

I can relate to that FEELING of what a rockstar is. The feeling broke down when we had to name rockstars and look at how they are.

Check out this rockstar

Mick is doing an amazing performance of rock and roll! he’s badass. Super charismatic, super energetic. He’s not god-like at all. He’s extremely human. That’s what makes him magnetic. That’s what makes him powerful. That’s how he owned livingrooms and the studio. That’s how he made a career.

This is what a great performer is. We want to see peak humans. We might transform them in our memories to something else. As entertainers, or public speakers, or leaders; this distortion of reality is detrimental to us. It holds us back from letting it all hang out.

That’s the power of a rockstar. They show up fully. They don’t just present a little piece of themselves. They put it all out there and it’s insane to experience.

Take action

Be flawed. Be total. Think about something you TRY to do on stage or in life. Stop trying to do it. Just show up with energy. Watch video of yourself and compare it to what you’re trying to do.

My goal with marketing and curation is to have people say “Fuck yeah! This is made for me!” So I don’t play the numbers game. I play the quality and value game. I try to find the ideal customers that have a huge lifetime value so that when I get them, they show up, they love the experience, the evangelize it, and they give me lots of money. It’s way more fun for me to hang out with fun people on my mission than people who bought a Groupon.  

It works

We had great success with Scot Nery’s Boobietrap when we started focussing our marketing and curation on one actual person. Our sentinel guards our treasure for us. They are our high value customer. I would write an email to my sentinel very specifically, then remove his name from the top of the email and send it out to 4000 people.

I’ve shared this technique with lots of creatives and it has saved them a lot of time and made their work more enjoyable.

“Scot flipped a switch for me, and I immediately enjoyed doing the work that I used to hate!” ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ Brad Barton

Specific is universal

That’s why I invented this Sentinel technique. Marketers often us demographics / psychographics which are very general. To get more specific, they’ll use avatars (which are fictional characters). I find getting a real person is really instructive because I know exactly how to talk to them, I can empathize with them, and they have quirks that are important that I might otherwise overlook.

Take Action : Start understanding

here’s a google sheet it has examples. Fill it out now with your favorite customer

From working with a ton of creatives on their pricing, I’ve found it’s important to remember a few things.

Artists have good hearts. We want to do things that are generous. We want systems that are sustainable. That means that we need to be able to put love into what we do. When we try to figure out how much money someone has to give us, or what are the standard rates, it can feel crappy because it’s comparative, confrontational, and transactional.

I tell people to ask the lowest price possible

Asking the lowest price possible is surprising to many people because they they know I’m negotiating 5-figure gigs.

The simplest system for pricing a gig is…

1️⃣ I imagine the whole job

2️⃣ I ask any questions I need to help imagine the job fully

3️⃣ give the lowest rate where everyone can walk away from the gig giggling

The root of underpricing fear is lack of fulfillment

The bad jobs where we feel we were paid to little are the gigs where they didn’t use us completely, or we feel like we gave them a lot that they didn’t need. The number on the check is completely separate from this.

We gotta be courageous in putting a price out there. If the client and i are on the same page about the offer, there’s no rejection possible. There’s only us agreeing if it’s a fit.

imagine the right way

We get better at this as we get experience. We know how things often go and what will be required. We know how tired we are when we’re done with a job, etc.

To imagine thru a job, we think about what’s gonna cost us jellybeans – (time, energy, money, and other resources [ like reputation ]) Then, we also imagine what’s going to give us Jellybeans. Now, money isn’t the only Jellybean on the table. When money’s the only thing, I charge a shit-ton.

In general, i listen for things like…

• is this person going to be fun to work with?
• will i be given the opportunity to succeed?
• how much value will they get out of me?
• am i irreplaceable in this situation?
• is there flexibility – If i had to cancel last minute, would it make little impact on them?
• will i need to do an irregular amount of work?
• what are travel and prep days?

I have tried making a perfect list of questions

This imagining process is better than a repeatable list of questions. It gives me the ability to truly serve my people.

My favorite ways to be athletic are non-competitive. My favorite video games are couch-coop. I’m a social eater. I love collaboration. I like being physical too. I used to invite tons of people to go with me to batting cages.

I know this is wildly hypothetical. Imagine Michael Jordan has a choice… he can choose a basketball career where he get’s all the fun and challenge of the sport, he gets to work with a team, he gets to make a ton of money, and he gets to win and he can do it completely without comparing or competing with anyone else.

Numerous studies have shown that corporate environments where there’s competition between employees are less productive, less ethical, more stressful, and less lucrative.

What do we dislike about social media? the comparison, the competition.

Games are great

Games are behind every single thing that we do. Some board games and sports are set up completely dependent on competition. Every game needs 3 things – A worthy goal, the adequate amount of cost / challenge, and control.

Competition isn’t the only way to make a game, but it’s often cited as required for gamification

Within a competitive structure…

Goal : get validation from self and others by being comparitively worthy

Challenge : the challenge increases as our competitors increase their skills

Control : we can see weaknesses in our competition

The alternative…

Instead of trying to get validation from claiming a piece of a scarce pie, We can get validation from doing good things and being around loving people. Instead of depending on competition to add to our challenge, we can constantly find new games to play that are leveling up from prior experiences. Instead of looking to take something from others, we can find a feeling of control by making tasks easy and living in our wheelhouses.

Take action now…

We can pick one thing in our lives that’s been dragging for us. Then, root out the competition aspect of it so we can get it done. When I’m trying to bake bread so my friends can eat it, it’s way more motivating & fun than trying to bake bread because everyone else at the potluck will bring some great food.

Play the game WITH others

I’m hungry for more showbiz impact! Who wants to help me?

Ever wondered if I’m still hitting the stage with live shows or if Scot Nery’s Boobietrap is making a comeback? I’ve shifted gears to play a bigger game in entertainment. It’s not just about my spotlight anymore; it’s about lighting up the stage for other incredible peeps.

I’m not zigzagging around the world to wow 200 folks over three days, I’m now behind the scenes, hustling to score gigs for three kick-ass entertainers. more smiles per mile

Here are some of the things i can think of that happened over the past year… (names abbreviated for privacy)

• AF : Got a booking connection at the magic castle
• ES : Redid sales technique. Asked 3 times as much as they wanted to
• MP : showed how to pitch. got nearly 3x as much from a repeat client
• NS : doubled bank account in one NYE booking
• ZG : reduced proposal time drastically and lead to better communications which landed a gig
• TW : new website, new photos, new proposal technique that landed a great gig, showed them tools for faster promo material, helped create video content
• NJ : booked a TV appearance
• LS : explored venues, marketing aesthetics, and ticket selling techniques for a residency show
• DW : redone website, brand overhaul, helped them look at themself in a new more valuable way, booked them for a gig, connected them with a potential future gig
• DJ : Helped set up a completely new business that will lead to more performance opportunities and better network connections. New website
• HA : rebrand, website, connection to cruise ships
• DM : connection that led to a US tour
• DC : a new look at sales techniques and help talking to a prospect
• BK : an overhaul of approach that lead to singular focus, more online sales and more members in their subscription group
• AF : renovated website, improved local promotion and networking
• EW : new site, new fliers, rebrand
• MH : new flyers
• LG : new sales techniques and new website critique
• BC : new EPK, rebrand
• ND : new website design and rebrand. Testimonial from a celebrity
• JB : sales advice, branding advice
• MB : new EPK and rebrand, network connections
• MM : new ticket selling / promotion strategy. social content feedback
• CR : rebranding, new website
• TR : logo overhaul, branding and strategy for sales
• SC : Sales techniques, performance feedback, network connections, ad feedback
• CM : Show enhancement, complete stage show aesthetic overhaul, new intro video,
• JC : Team building
• CN : Site overhaul, rebranding, sales consulting, booked them for a gig
• SB : Saved them possibly $100k in a consulting call
• RL : new website in a day, rescued online presence
• SS : helped get the highest grossing day of career, new site design, new brand, new sales, cut out dead work
• AL : helped negotiate biggest contract
• ZG : show enhancement – added a feeling of fulfillment whenever they performed
• TW : Casting for two parties
• AA : rebooked at their fav festival, negotiated 25% more from a repeat client, two new sites
• KB : improved website, negotiated 25% more on top of an already signed contract, design feedback for theater show promo
• DI : now charges 3x more than he wanted before. entered a new market that’s in line with their ethos.
• BN : quit their day job
• TN : new site. rebrand, retooling sales and marketing
• BC : overhauled casting process and organization of contacts
• BL : multiple high profile, high-stakes rapid website changes
• SS : casting
• AM : completely redefined how they saw themself
• AB : Got booked twice, new website
• NB : did a performance
• BB : introduction to crucial contacts at performing arts centers
• RW : casting
• JP : booking connection with dream venue
• CF : show enhancement consultation
• NK : graphic design for high-profile experiencial event
• UU : experiencial design
• ZS : web rescue and new site
• JO : new photos
• NS : 4 new sites and video
• VV : new site
• MH : new headshot
• JK : show enhancement
• SH : website updates and strategy, video editing, kickstarter consulting
• PM : TV pilot concept
• MB : Site overhaul

The show’s still going on… mostly thru zoom crying with my friends – listening to them and helping them thru all the hurdles that lead to their dreams. Bigger and better than ever. Let me know what I can do with you.

MakingAnImpact #BehindTheScenesHero