Rejection: Doing it

Curation is how we get the good. Someone with a voice rejects stuff.

This is a 3 part series on rejection. Doing it, avoiding it & embracing it.

Humans are basically constantly all curating. We’re saying no to 1000 possible lunches / outfits / tv shows, etc. These are usually kinda easy. It can get scary when we start rejecting people.

Bookers, casting directors, head writers, publishers, etc. all have to get super comfy and almost enjoy rejecting people in order to do great work. This article is about that.

A lot of curators chicken out on this. It gets my goat.

We’re not rejecting people

To me, it’s most important to remember, when booking a show, that I’m rejecting a service – not an individual. It’s not up to me to determine the value of a person, the skill of a person, the popularity of a person.

It’s up to me as a curator to determine “Does the service I understand this person is offering help or hinder my mission compared to my other options?”

This is a robust question. It includes…

1. I’m examining a service
2. One person is capable of providing many services
3. I might not understand the service they’re trying to offer
4. I am on a mission
5. I don’t need to rate the service good or bad, only better or worse
6. It is part of my job to understand and expand my options

The service of an entertainment provider is complicated.

I had a great performer friend post this on social media.

“A producer that books acts on ANYTHING other than talent, has issues to work out.”

I disagree 100%! I want quality skill and presentation in Scot Nery’s Boobietrap, but I don’t want a world-record-breaking jump rope team who shows up late, yells racist things, and harrasses the staff.

At Boobietrap, our mission is to be what we think the #1 show in L.A. is supposed to be. We need service providers who…

• are diverse (in viewpoint, and type of act)
• are remarkable at what they do
• show that they care
• are pretty easy to work with ( when booking 15 acts in a week, divas and whirlwinds aren’t too fun )
• support the good, fun vibes for everyone
• want to do it
• will signal some kind of great quality to the audience

One person, many services

I love having a lot to select from, so if one person comes back to me with another new option of a service that might better suit my needs, fantastic! If I stay open to this, it’s much easier for me to say, “No thank you to this specific thing.”

I don’t know if I get it.

Every curator is missing out on something because we’re evaluating thru a keyhole. We don’t have the bandwidth to triple check that we’re always getting it right.

Every person casting / hiring tries to set up a process to most efficiently evaluate a big enough sample group, find out what they’re offering, and pick. These techniques are all different and miss good options in different ways. Some people are bad at auditioning, some videos submissions don’t convey the experience, some potentials are a little disorganized with emailing, etc.

We can always continue to refine our processes, but it will never be perfect. In a way, accepting this flawed nature is a relief because we’re not responsible for understanding everything – only for doing our best.

My mission is bigger than feelings

Being kind, generous, and loving are tops for me, so I set my missions based on these things. My production is a big loving generous gift, so something detrimental to my mission takes away from the ability of love I’m able to give. This helps cool my thoughts of rejection = mean.

Comparisons are life savers

You start looking thru candidates. First, you try to get to the first one who can do the job. Then, compare others to that person until you have a top pick. If you have a lot of options, you can check out the first 30% of candidates. If you find one better than the first 30%, you can stop there.

Trying to rank services on a scale of 1-10 can help some with organization, but it’s very hard once your options get numerous. You start to forget what qualifies as a 7 on the scale. It’s much easier to think “Is Deon gonna be better than Jen?”

A great curator promises knowledge

As an audience member, I’m trusting the curator to do the work for me. I would look at every option in the world. I’d use my taste, experience, and skills to pick the very best. I’m not going to. I’m going to trust that the Tonight Show will bring on guests worthy of my attention.

My hope is that they are not picking from 20 possible guests, but from millions. They are delicately picking just the very best for me!

As curators, our people are dreaming of us knowing everyone in our realm so that we’re making a more informed decision than the audience can.

Why not pick friends?

Picking friends can be awesome for a bunch of reasons. These reasons can also be completely the opposite since a friend might not think they have to do as much for you. So, being easy to work with, being open books, knowing their strengths, being on a similar mission, all this stuff can end up making for conflict due to familiarity.

The biggest downside I think of choosing friends is you don’t have many friends. Gotta play the numbers game and explore who else is out there that might blow you away even if you like different sports teams.

Why me?

Going thru submissions is very difficult for me. It takes a focused headspace and an emotional buy-in that’s quite a commitment. I’ve asked “Why do I have to do this?” many times. The most helpful response I can give myself is “Who would you prefer to do it? Who would do it better? Who would care more about protecting your mission?”

Don’t let them down easy

There are certain rejection processes that are shitty and built into industries. There’re some things you can’t leave out because breaking protocol would possibly send a mean signal, but do what you can to show love.

• Before submissions come in, establish the mission. “We’re seeking staccato writing styles that reflect queer-positive themes” instead of “who’s a good writer?”
• Stick to your mission. If you make a lot of exceptions, it’s confusing (maybe damaging) to those submitting, and more work for you.
• Be nice, don’t be polite. Talk to people with respect, treat them like adult individuals who care about what they do.
• Offer them something genuine. Even a real compliment.
• Don’t get into reasons too much. Your goal isn’t for them to validate your mission or decision making process. And, that’s good, because most likely, they won’t!

Courage

These techniques really help me avoid needing courage. I can just side-step the scary parts and do my job.