We can get lost in the technical complications of making shows / games / books; it can get murky in the details, but what our audiences want is a relationship with a person. It’s very simple, but difficult to achieve. It might be a relationship with a character, with a creator, or with the human they imagine from an experience.
Humans’re evolved for human relationships, not for downloading a song.
Our primitive brain tells us “There’s safety in the village. Make friends”
Fame is fleeting + has fleeted
I think many of us imagine building an audience / fanbase as a game of hundreds of thousands of anonymous hands holding lighters in a crowd. The audience members are not anonymous, though. As entertainment gets more personal and bespoke with the algorithms and whatnot, fans expect to be treated as important real individuals – and to be approached in a personal way.
If we could be best friends with each celeb we follow, that would be ultimate, but we know as someone gets bigger, the less we can be connected with them directly. Bigshots’ inability to give us enough of them has led to a larger distribution of fame — more people being less famous each.
And, that’s fine because they can each give more to each fan and they can get more directly from each fan.
It can seem daunting to approach a small group and give them personal attention, but this is most often the best place to start. Here are some examples…
Scot Nery’s Boobietrap
Building the #1 show in Los Angeles started with phone calls. I made phone calls when nobody was making phone calls. I called every performer that I wanted to join in. I called every audience member I wanted to attend. I had conversations. I collected more phone numbers from people who were guests. I called. I asked advice. I asked them about their experience.
In emails to ticket buyers, I tell them personal experiences. I ask them to reply.
During the shows, the performers sit in the audience. We greet and connect with regular audience members and the dialog is open about everything. It’s good for them and for us.
Alex Clark
He’s a live stage performer who found a bigger audience online – about 4.5 million subscribers on YouTube. It has been a wonder watching him grow his following patiently and doggedly.
He responds to comments on his videos by making them part of his next vids.
He has art competition where people’s art actually gets seen by him.
His videos are biographical. You get to learn more about his life. Especially what he considers flaws
He collaborated. When he works with another youtuber or creative person who has a following of friends, he becomes a friend of a friend. Like meeting someone at a friend’s party, he’s cool. He’s vetted.
Although his following is huge now, it still feels specific. He still interacts. And when he was small (for a long time) he connected more deeply — pretty much giving as much energy as he could to building relationships with online anonymous people.
Pamela Adlon
I got to work on the most recent season of Better Things on FX – produced by Pamela Adlon. She’s loud. Like a joy buzzer. She wakes people up and reminds them that life’s silly and it’s time to live.
She looks people in the eyes and remembers their names. It’s amazing. All while directing, writing, whatever-elsing her huge show.
Better Things at least feels very personal. She plays a divorced (like her) mother of 3 (like her) working as an actor in L.A. (like her) who is loud, surreal, imaginative, and vulnerable (like her).
I’m very into flaws to create a connection. Pamela almost seems to be selling people on her flaws. Like her flaws are so juicy, she’ll create more if you’re not impressed. In the show and on set, she says the wrong things. She cusses. She announces her mistakes. Then, she celebrates how much none of that matters in the overall goals of creation and connection. You know, the way you act when you’re with your best friend.
When people love Better Things, they are die-hard fans. It’s so cool to hear from people who saw me on it and just gush about what it means to them. I was proud to be a part of Adlon’s universe.
Leah Orleans
A major part of the fitness industry at this point is entertainment. We don’t need more exercise facts, special equipment, or calorie calculators, we need a thing that’s gonna pull us in and get us through the hard work.
When Leah’s live shows got canceled for the pandemic, she decided to build an extremely engaging fitness company. She started the COVID-19 Nineteen Day Challenge. Her simple, at-home fitness regimen was paired with daily actual person-to-person check ins with her.
She communicates with people thru instagram DMs. Personal. Friendly. Informal.
She sparks conversations about life, fun food (not diet food), and pets.
She is not afraid to share her opinions. You’re not getting a watered down corporation. You’re getting a personal relationship.
I asked her for her thoughts on how these relationships work…
‘In my opinion, the only way to “feel” a genuine connection with your audience members is to actually create one. After my shows at renaissance festivals, I collect tips and talk to fans. I make an effort to take the time to look people in the eye, compliment their costumes, and listen to them, instead of just saying “oh thanks for the cash!” and let them leave.
‘I then recognize them when they come back again and again, and I say “thanks for coming back to the show, I know you’ve seen it before!” and they are shocked. I recognized them. Someone they “Idolized” knows who they are as an individual.
‘I took this concept and pivoted it to my online fitness program The ABCs of Fitness, that involves daily check-ins where the challengers DM me every day after their workout saying hello, and I do the same thing, I compliment them on their effort, and validate their existence. It’s an extremely powerful thing to be told that “I’m proud of you for showing up.”
Communities
Also, note that there are communities around each of these things. Leah has a facebook group just for her clients. Alex stirs up online conversations and has meetups. Better Things has fan groups. Boobietrap encourages people to talk after the shows. More relationships for the audience members! More connection. More awesome fulfillment!