We are fighting so hard to fix the things in our lives that suck. We want to fight the resistance. We want to muscle it and change it now. How do we make this fight happen? With fighting. Lots of struggle. Clash up against the problem and destroy it!
When we’re facing major change of any kind, the hardest struggle is not with the thing. The real challenge that will make us sweat the most is accepting ease.
Fix a relationship with an angry partner
- the clash: get angry and correct them
- the ease: take the perspective that this is an otherwise good relationship, listen, don’t try to fix their feelings. Let it work itself out
Fix a drug addiction
- the clash: stop taking drugs. deal with it without bothering anyone
- the ease: forgive yourself, love yourself, find your pain, talk to people, love others, accept flaws, be honest
Fix productivity issues
- the clash: find a good system, find a good software, take drugs
- the ease: be patient, look at what you’re doing that works, be honest, don’t compare yourself to others
The ease feels disgusting! It feels touchy-feely and like it’s the slow way. The clash is the slow way. We’ve tried it. We’re trying it. When we’re ready for the big stuff, we need to find the ease. We need to bravely dive into it.
It’s gray area. It’s vulnerable. It’s love. On the other side is fun.
Look for the easy way out.
We gotta look for the ways we’re being tough on ourselves. Then, look for the easy way. Look for the people that are trying to help us. Look for the good that’s already happening and expand on it.
Sell the clash
When we’re trying to draw people in, we can remember that they’re looking for the clash too. They’re trying to find the contrast to their problems. The most successful solutions offer the clash on the outside and the ease on the inside. Look at how AA operates, how Noom operates, how Tony Robbins operates. It seems from their advertising that they are clashing, but they’re really relieving once you commit.