They’ll Love You For Your Flaws + Use You For Your Perfections

There are two traps for entertainment pros.

  1. Being pristine and the best
  2. Being raw and savage

People want to use us

Folks want to use us for our popularity, for our vicarious experiences, for our skills, for our “talent,” for our beauty, and whatever else is good about us. I’m talking about “use” in a consensual, “it takes a village” / “lend a hand” kinda way. It’s good to be useful and it’s good to use people. It connects us to each other.

People want to love us

Our audiences also want to love us. Love can only happen with vulnerability. They can only connect with us when we show them something that is deemed by the audience as imperfect. Love is an openness and acceptance of someone for who they are. We want our performers, creators, and characters to be flawed so that we can exercise our ability to love them. We love not because of the qualities of a person, but in spite of the qualities of a person.

Make a surprising move

There’s a book on screen writing called “Save The Cat.” Part of it talks about the importance of a hero doing a simple noble action. Many writers mistakenly think that a hero being tortured is enough to elicit love from the audience.

Saving a cat is a surprising action that reveals more about who we are. It goes against the grain of what the audience might expect.

Suffering is not a flaw, or a vulnerability. We need action.

SEARCH AND STALK

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